Tonight has been full of realizations, although I don't think I've realized that until now.
Grief is complicated. I see myself somewhat as a struggling child -- getting upset, then getting angry with myself, and being caught in an emotional web that seems to be endless. All the time God is holding me in His arms. He isn't angry. He completely understands. He sees into my heart, and turns the ugly into something new -- something I'll be thankful for forever.
It's hard to realize all of this in the midst of the storming emotions. It takes a touch from Him to be able to see the truth -- just a glimmer of light, and then some more, until I can see His face and finally realize He's been here all along.
Are you feeling hopeless? I know exactly what it's like. So does He! And He's right there to lift up anyone who will call on Him. The fact that you can't feel Him or hear Him means nothing. His truth is so much greater than our minds or our senses, or any lie that creeps into our thoughts.
"My deliverance and my asteem depend on Elohim; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in Elohim. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him. Elohim is a refuge for us. Selah."
