Tonight has been full of realizations, although I don't think I've realized that until now.
Grief is complicated. I see myself somewhat as a struggling child -- getting upset, then getting angry with myself, and being caught in an emotional web that seems to be endless. All the time God is holding me in His arms. He isn't angry. He completely understands. He sees into my heart, and turns the ugly into something new -- something I'll be thankful for forever.
It's hard to realize all of this in the midst of the storming emotions. It takes a touch from Him to be able to see the truth -- just a glimmer of light, and then some more, until I can see His face and finally realize He's been here all along.
Are you feeling hopeless? I know exactly what it's like. So does He! And He's right there to lift up anyone who will call on Him. The fact that you can't feel Him or hear Him means nothing. His truth is so much greater than our minds or our senses, or any lie that creeps into our thoughts.
"My deliverance and my asteem depend on Elohim; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in Elohim. Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him. Elohim is a refuge for us. Selah."
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Be Not Afraid
There is a distinct mystery to God's character. No matter how much we grow in the knowledge of our Savior, there are still many things we'll never understand -- His return being one of them, I believe. Will it be tomorrow? What about today? A month from now? Ten years? What He promises is this: no one will expect Him at that time. Keep watch.
Last night, as I was pondering these things, I came across these verses from Matthew 24:
"Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door. I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
...Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when He returns. I tell you the truth, He will put him in charge of all His possessions. But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, 'My master is staying away a long time,' and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of."
While we might not expect Him to return tomorrow or the next day, we shouldn't relax and live our lives the way we always have. Instead, shouldn't we always be thinking of what we can do to glorify Him, and further His Kingdom? We should give what we have to the "least of these".
Does this mean we should all become street evangelists? For some, absolutely. But God has helped me to realize that our "ministry" on earth can be as subtle as being kind to a store clerk, keeping an even temper with a child, or showing generosity to someone who's treated you badly. Listening to Him every moment should be our mission. We are used by Him even when we aren't aware!
And lastly, let's not be afraid. Fear is a deadly weapon used to make us act in a way counterproductive to our purpose. How beautiful are the feet of those that bring the good news!--the feet of you and I.
Last night, as I was pondering these things, I came across these verses from Matthew 24:
"Now learn this lesson from the fig tree: As soon as its twigs get tender and its leaves come out, you know that summer is near. Even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door. I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened. Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.
...Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom the master has put in charge of the servants in his household to give them their food at the proper time? It will be good for that servant whose master finds him doing so when He returns. I tell you the truth, He will put him in charge of all His possessions. But suppose that servant is wicked and says to himself, 'My master is staying away a long time,' and he then begins to beat his fellow servants and to eat and drink with drunkards. The master of that servant will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he is not aware of."
While we might not expect Him to return tomorrow or the next day, we shouldn't relax and live our lives the way we always have. Instead, shouldn't we always be thinking of what we can do to glorify Him, and further His Kingdom? We should give what we have to the "least of these".
Does this mean we should all become street evangelists? For some, absolutely. But God has helped me to realize that our "ministry" on earth can be as subtle as being kind to a store clerk, keeping an even temper with a child, or showing generosity to someone who's treated you badly. Listening to Him every moment should be our mission. We are used by Him even when we aren't aware!
And lastly, let's not be afraid. Fear is a deadly weapon used to make us act in a way counterproductive to our purpose. How beautiful are the feet of those that bring the good news!--the feet of you and I.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Encouraging Thoughts
"Listen, listen to the trembling of His
voice, and the sound that comes from His
mouth. He lets it loose under all the Heavens,
and His lightning to the ends of the earth.
After it a voice roars. He thunders with the voice of His excellency, and He does
not hold them back when His voice is
heard.
El thunders wondrously with His voice;
doing great deeds, which we do not understand.
For He says to the snow, "Be on the earth,"
also to the gentle rain and the heavy
rain of His strength.
He seals up the hand of every man,
for all men to know His work.
Then the beast goes into its lair, and
they stay in their dens.
From the room of the south comes the
whirlwind, and cold from the scattering
winds of the north.
By the breath of El ice is given, and the
expanse of water becomes solid.
He also loads the thick clouds with
moisture; He scatters His bright clouds.
And they swirl about, being turned by
His guidance, to do whatever He commands them
on the face of the earthly world."
Job 37:2 - 12
voice, and the sound that comes from His
mouth. He lets it loose under all the Heavens,
and His lightning to the ends of the earth.
After it a voice roars. He thunders with the voice of His excellency, and He does
not hold them back when His voice is
heard.
El thunders wondrously with His voice;
doing great deeds, which we do not understand.
For He says to the snow, "Be on the earth,"
also to the gentle rain and the heavy
rain of His strength.
He seals up the hand of every man,
for all men to know His work.
Then the beast goes into its lair, and
they stay in their dens.
From the room of the south comes the
whirlwind, and cold from the scattering
winds of the north.
By the breath of El ice is given, and the
expanse of water becomes solid.
He also loads the thick clouds with
moisture; He scatters His bright clouds.
And they swirl about, being turned by
His guidance, to do whatever He commands them
on the face of the earthly world."
Job 37:2 - 12
Friday, March 11, 2011
Always Asking
Here is an excerpt from a daily devotional by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling:
"If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural abillity and strength. That's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless."
I feel this is exactly the concept God presented me with last night. He helped me to realize that I was thinking so much about myself - my attitude, my accomplishments, my words and actions, that I was forgetting His strength and His grace. I felt overwhelmed when I tried to compare myself to His standard. I wasn't measuring up one bit. He said, "I'm not asking you to muster up strength, I'm asking you to fall into My strong arms. I'm not asking that you measure up, I'm asking that you accept My forgiveness. I'm asking that you love Me, that you bask in My presence. I'm asking that you come to Me and fall at My feet."
When He said that His burden was light, that was what He really meant.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5bGOnx-YCs&feature=fvst
"If you live your life too safely, you will never know the thrill of seeing Me work through you. When I gave you My Spirit, I empowered you to live beyond your natural abillity and strength. That's why it is so wrong to measure your energy level against the challenges ahead of you. The issue is not your strength but Mine, which is limitless."
I feel this is exactly the concept God presented me with last night. He helped me to realize that I was thinking so much about myself - my attitude, my accomplishments, my words and actions, that I was forgetting His strength and His grace. I felt overwhelmed when I tried to compare myself to His standard. I wasn't measuring up one bit. He said, "I'm not asking you to muster up strength, I'm asking you to fall into My strong arms. I'm not asking that you measure up, I'm asking that you accept My forgiveness. I'm asking that you love Me, that you bask in My presence. I'm asking that you come to Me and fall at My feet."
When He said that His burden was light, that was what He really meant.
Friday, March 4, 2011
I'm Here
If He is taking care of us, then we can be free to focus on Him.
Often times I forget this almost completely.
I think that if I try hard enough,
Or work long enough,
I can make it.
I forget that my Shepherd is leading me,
Making me to lie down.
I focus on the path itself, and lose sight of Him.
I forget that He's there, holding my hand
And saying, "Don't be afraid. I'm here."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDnKcAiXlOk
Often times I forget this almost completely.
I think that if I try hard enough,
Or work long enough,
I can make it.
I forget that my Shepherd is leading me,
Making me to lie down.
I focus on the path itself, and lose sight of Him.
I forget that He's there, holding my hand
And saying, "Don't be afraid. I'm here."
"For You Yourself light my lamp; Yahweh my Elohim makes my darkness light. For with You I run against a band, and with my Elohim I leap over a wall. The El -- His way is perfect; The Word of Yahewh is proven; He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him. For who is Eloah, besides Yahweh? And who is a rock, except our Elohim? It is El who girds me with strength, and makes my way perfect, making my feet like the feet of deer, and sets me on my high places, teaching my hands for battle, so that my arms bend a bow of bronze. And You give me the shielf of Your deliverance; And Your right hand supports me, and You lowliness makes me great. You enlarge my step under me; And my feet shall not slip."
Psalm 18:28 - 36
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Living Word
I didn't sleep much last night. A spiritual attack kept me awake until the early hours of the morning - the same lies, a different form. Fear of being in the wrong place, questioning my purpose, and feeling lost. God "comforted me on every side" and I was finally able to sleep, but when I awoke, the world around me seemed dreary and dark. I didn't want to get out of bed.
When I started my car, I listened to the radio for a while, and then pushed the "CD" button, not remembering what I had left in my CD player. The song that came on was an arrangement of "Jesus, Name Above All Names" that I had listened to as a child.
Jesus, name above all names
Beautiful Savior, Glorious Lord
Emmanuel, God is with us
Blessed Redeemer, Living Word
Nothing about my life or my purpose. Nothing about my doubts or concerns. Simply praising our Maker, our loving God - saying His Names over and over in a beautiful chorus.
The mist on the road cleared ever so slightly, and I was able to see the trees enveloped in silvery fog. Glorious Lord! I realized that the God of the whole universe was with me in my car - with me everywhere regardless of my knowing it or not. Beautiful Savior. He had this day planned out, just like every other. God is with us became all that really mattered as I got out of my car and peered through the mist, seeing miniscule water droplets dancing in the air. After taking care of my horses, I walked with my Savior through part of the pasture. It was that feeling you get when your mind is so tired from thinking, that you're ready to just fall over and give up - then Someone catches you...that kind of "rest for your souls" that I haven't experienced in a while. Strange as it seemed, I began to be thankful for my exhausted state, and benefitting from leaning on God for my every breath and thought. My mind became aware of the simple, important things of the moment, like how pretty the wet grass looked and how amazing it was that my horse turned and made eye contact with me when I said his name.
I'm not sure how much I'll get accomplished today, but I'm happy that I've learned again these truths. That nothing can separate us and all the while, I'm still walking by the still waters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o62NruWQyBk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAtxcqO_xSc&feature=related
When I started my car, I listened to the radio for a while, and then pushed the "CD" button, not remembering what I had left in my CD player. The song that came on was an arrangement of "Jesus, Name Above All Names" that I had listened to as a child.
Jesus, name above all names
Beautiful Savior, Glorious Lord
Emmanuel, God is with us
Blessed Redeemer, Living Word
Nothing about my life or my purpose. Nothing about my doubts or concerns. Simply praising our Maker, our loving God - saying His Names over and over in a beautiful chorus.
The mist on the road cleared ever so slightly, and I was able to see the trees enveloped in silvery fog. Glorious Lord! I realized that the God of the whole universe was with me in my car - with me everywhere regardless of my knowing it or not. Beautiful Savior. He had this day planned out, just like every other. God is with us became all that really mattered as I got out of my car and peered through the mist, seeing miniscule water droplets dancing in the air. After taking care of my horses, I walked with my Savior through part of the pasture. It was that feeling you get when your mind is so tired from thinking, that you're ready to just fall over and give up - then Someone catches you...that kind of "rest for your souls" that I haven't experienced in a while. Strange as it seemed, I began to be thankful for my exhausted state, and benefitting from leaning on God for my every breath and thought. My mind became aware of the simple, important things of the moment, like how pretty the wet grass looked and how amazing it was that my horse turned and made eye contact with me when I said his name.
I'm not sure how much I'll get accomplished today, but I'm happy that I've learned again these truths. That nothing can separate us and all the while, I'm still walking by the still waters.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAtxcqO_xSc&feature=related
Monday, January 3, 2011
My Blessing
As a young teenager, while I was going through a dark time in my life, my mother came home from work to find me in tears. I don't remember exactly what I had been upset about or much of what was said, only that I was terrified, anxious, angry, and confused. I was in the midst of a spiritual battle in my mind, one that could only be won through God's help. Near the end of our conversation, my mother asked me to write a list of blessings - all that God had given and done for me. Here is what I came up with:
1. Himself - "For He is our peace, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us...And that He might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby...For through Him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father...Now therefore are ye no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God."
2. Making it so simple to come to Him - "For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." "For whosoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."
3. His promise to never leave me. - "I will never leave You, I will never forsake You."
4. His promise that nothing can separate us. "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, or any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord."
5. The wonderful Holy Spirit - ["Jesus] in Whom you trusted, after that ye heard the truth, the gospel of your salvation: in Whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise, which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of His glory." "For we know not what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit intercedes for us with groanings that cannot be uttered." (I also noted that the Holy Spirit convicts me of sin in a gentle way, that focuses on the resolution to the problem.)
6. The Bible - "For all Scripture is God-breathed, and useful for teaching." (I noted that when I read the Bible, no matter what is confusing or bothering me, eventually vanishes, as Jesus guides me to the right verses.)
7. Jesus, and His wonderful role in my life as my forgiveness. - "If we confess our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sin, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
8. The promise that He will not give up on me, and will keep working on me. - "He will not forsake the work of His own Hands."
9. Angels - "He will give HIs angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone." (I wrote that sometimes when I'm afraid, I'll ask God to show me the angels that surroun me. I never actually see them, but I have a peace and I know that they're there with me.)
10. Victory over Satan - "For greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world." "Beloved, test the spirits. For what spirit confesseth that Jesus is come of God in the flesh is of God, and any spirit that confesseth not that Jesus is come of the God in the flesh is not of God. It is the spirit of the antichrist, which is already in the world. You, being of God, have overcome them, for greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world."
11. His promise that He will give me what I ask of Him. "And this is the confidence in approaching God: that if we ask anything in His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, then we know that we have what we've asked of Him." "If a man asks the Lord for wisdom, and does not believe He has given it to him, he...is tossed about in all he does." (I also wrote that, when I was asking God for peace, etc., it always helped to say "And I believe I have it," or, "I thank You for doing that for me.")
12. His promise to keep me on track. - "The Lord admonishes whom He loves."
13. His promise to be near me. - "Come near to God, and He will come near to you." "The Lord is nigh unto those of a broken heart, and contrite spirit." "Where will I go from thy presence?"
14. His promise that He has a plan for me. "Thou has beset me behind and before, and laid Thine hand upon me."
15.
I left the last one blank. God took my broken heart and transformed it as He brought these fundamental truths to my mind, and guided me to the right verses as I randomly flipped through my Bible. When we see ourselves and our circumstances in the light of His presence, things look much differently. When we let go of our sin, inhibition, and guilt and let ourselves fall into the arms of a God who really cares, we can find a reason to smile. Not a temporary, fading one, but a smile that is a result of the joy that bubbles deep inside, regardless of what may be happening around us.
I labeled this list - my mother's suggestion which has become one of my most treasured possessions - in big, curly cue, blue and purple letters and drew little dots and flowers around them. I wrote the letters so largely, actually, that I didn't have room for the "s" at the end that I planned, so it became, "My Blessing." I don't remember why number fifteen is blank. Maybe I was spiritually exhausted at that point. Maybe my mind was overwhelmed with all of God's incredible attributes. (I know my list doesn't even begin to cover all that He is.) Maybe that blank space represents everything I don't yet understand about Him...those "fathomless billows of love" and unsearchable ways.
When I read this collection of truths, I'm filled with the unspeakable peace and joy from knowing Him. I'm reminded that no matter what dilemma I'm facing, big or small, the Creator of the universe has me under His wing. The God of Heaven, so glorious and indescribable, cares about me, here, right now, as I'm sitting in my room bemoaning the fact that nothing seems to ease my sore throat. He can percieve what's going to happen, and prepare me for it. He made butterflies. Isn't that grand?
He loves me.
That is your blessing, too.
1. Himself - "For He is our peace, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us...And that He might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby...For through Him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father...Now therefore are ye no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints, and of the household of God."
2. Making it so simple to come to Him - "For by grace are ye saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." "For whosoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."
3. His promise to never leave me. - "I will never leave You, I will never forsake You."
4. His promise that nothing can separate us. "For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, or any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus, our Lord."
5. The wonderful Holy Spirit - ["Jesus] in Whom you trusted, after that ye heard the truth, the gospel of your salvation: in Whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that Holy Spirit of promise, which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of His glory." "For we know not what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit intercedes for us with groanings that cannot be uttered." (I also noted that the Holy Spirit convicts me of sin in a gentle way, that focuses on the resolution to the problem.)
6. The Bible - "For all Scripture is God-breathed, and useful for teaching." (I noted that when I read the Bible, no matter what is confusing or bothering me, eventually vanishes, as Jesus guides me to the right verses.)
7. Jesus, and His wonderful role in my life as my forgiveness. - "If we confess our sin, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sin, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
8. The promise that He will not give up on me, and will keep working on me. - "He will not forsake the work of His own Hands."
9. Angels - "He will give HIs angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. They will bear you up in their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone." (I wrote that sometimes when I'm afraid, I'll ask God to show me the angels that surroun me. I never actually see them, but I have a peace and I know that they're there with me.)
10. Victory over Satan - "For greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world." "Beloved, test the spirits. For what spirit confesseth that Jesus is come of God in the flesh is of God, and any spirit that confesseth not that Jesus is come of the God in the flesh is not of God. It is the spirit of the antichrist, which is already in the world. You, being of God, have overcome them, for greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world."
11. His promise that He will give me what I ask of Him. "And this is the confidence in approaching God: that if we ask anything in His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, then we know that we have what we've asked of Him." "If a man asks the Lord for wisdom, and does not believe He has given it to him, he...is tossed about in all he does." (I also wrote that, when I was asking God for peace, etc., it always helped to say "And I believe I have it," or, "I thank You for doing that for me.")
12. His promise to keep me on track. - "The Lord admonishes whom He loves."
13. His promise to be near me. - "Come near to God, and He will come near to you." "The Lord is nigh unto those of a broken heart, and contrite spirit." "Where will I go from thy presence?"
14. His promise that He has a plan for me. "Thou has beset me behind and before, and laid Thine hand upon me."
15.
I left the last one blank. God took my broken heart and transformed it as He brought these fundamental truths to my mind, and guided me to the right verses as I randomly flipped through my Bible. When we see ourselves and our circumstances in the light of His presence, things look much differently. When we let go of our sin, inhibition, and guilt and let ourselves fall into the arms of a God who really cares, we can find a reason to smile. Not a temporary, fading one, but a smile that is a result of the joy that bubbles deep inside, regardless of what may be happening around us.
I labeled this list - my mother's suggestion which has become one of my most treasured possessions - in big, curly cue, blue and purple letters and drew little dots and flowers around them. I wrote the letters so largely, actually, that I didn't have room for the "s" at the end that I planned, so it became, "My Blessing." I don't remember why number fifteen is blank. Maybe I was spiritually exhausted at that point. Maybe my mind was overwhelmed with all of God's incredible attributes. (I know my list doesn't even begin to cover all that He is.) Maybe that blank space represents everything I don't yet understand about Him...those "fathomless billows of love" and unsearchable ways.
When I read this collection of truths, I'm filled with the unspeakable peace and joy from knowing Him. I'm reminded that no matter what dilemma I'm facing, big or small, the Creator of the universe has me under His wing. The God of Heaven, so glorious and indescribable, cares about me, here, right now, as I'm sitting in my room bemoaning the fact that nothing seems to ease my sore throat. He can percieve what's going to happen, and prepare me for it. He made butterflies. Isn't that grand?
He loves me.
That is your blessing, too.
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