I want to arrange my schedule so that everything makes perfect sense. I want only to attempt things I know I can handle. And I want to make really sure that I don't get hurt by anyone or anything.
Recently, God has been reminding me that this place of self-dependance is a very dangerous one. Where is my faith? What about the promise that there is nothing too big for Him to handle? If I'm busy relying on my own talents and abilities as I percieve them to be, when will I turn to God?
Moses didn't want to obey God because he percieved himself to be a bad public speaker. I know the feeling. Too many times I have felt like saying, "I'm terribly sorry, but You have the wrong person. There is no way I can do what you're asking me to! I don't have the training, I don't have the talent!"
Maybe that's the point. Maybe our inadequacies are what makes us perfect for the job he's called us to do. When we know we can't rely on ourselves, then we have no choice but to rely on our Father.
It's a most liberating truth, even though it sounds scary. I know that His power flowing through me - a vessel - will fill up all my weaknesses and conquer my fear, and He will accomplish so much more than I could have on my own!
What an honor it is to be weak, so that His strength can be made perfect in us.
